On Depression: From my point of view.

I’ve heard about depression.

I’ve been hearing those words since like forever.

I have been feeling down for quite some times. A lots of things that’s been my favorites has becomes meaningless. Foods taste blands. Games and other entertainments feels hollow. Although the worlds is colorful, I felt empty inside. I felt hollow.

Am I a robot?

No.

But maybe I’m a slave. Expected t be this and that. Expected to serve, and receive nothing in return.

Who am I?

Now, to go outside, I have this dreadful feeling that there is monsters looming around waiting to jump on me. With Covid-19 and lockdown, I felt that my life’s getting worse.

I can’t be at home either.

There is a hole inside me. Maybe buying things can help to fill the hole. Nope.

There will always people wanting me to serve them. Never cared about my feeling.

It’s been years that I left my hobbies. Readings. I loved books. But now I can’t do that anymore. I can’t understand what’s written anymore.

My other hobby. Knitting. This one is only when I want to do something menial with my hands.

People’s said that helping others will help put your heart at ease. I’ve tried, but it hurts me more. When they question my motives, I’ve lost.

I’m broken. And it’s getting worse after my mom died in Nov’20.

I’ve gotten worst.

Did I get HELP?

I did.

Does it help? Yes. Slow and steady.

Efforts, efforts, efforts.

Falling in love is easy. It’s the keeping it together part that takes consistent choice, day after day.

The more effort that is put into a relationship, the stronger it is. The only way to maintain a relationship is by investing time and energy into one and having the other person reciprocate.

If they don’t put at least the same amount or more effort into spending time with you, then it will fade out. I’ll often meet a lot of people, put some energy into meeting them in person, and then seeing where things go.

While relationships can strengthen or weaken over time based on a variety of circumstances, such as moving on, the general rule is to display effort in the right contacts and then see which ones blossom into strong lasting relationships.

Effort matters and as you get older you find out who your true friends are by their display of effort, despite their lack of time.

No matter how pleased I feel, deep inside I still hold grudges.

Why do people hold grudges? We’ve all had at least one person in our lives who has screwed us in the not-so-fun way. If you haven’t yet had the displeasure, believe me when I tell you, you will. It’s inevitable.

Human beings are selfish and egocentric. Even when they seem to care about the well-being of others, first and foremost, they care about their own. Many times, the well-being of another will fall short of their wants and desires, even if the tradeoff is completely one-sided.

People aren’t always logical. They aren’t always fair or thoughtful. They aren’t always nice or pleasant. And they most definitely care more about themselves and what they want, than about others and their wants.

Not screwing people over can take quite a bit of self-control, especially when screwing particular people over is very rewarding.

When most people find themselves on the receiving end of bad faith, they get emotionally defensive and mentally defensive and hold that grudge until the day they die.

On Depression: Let us hear you.

People with suicidal thoughts tak semestinya orang yang kita nampak selalu sedih all the time. Bukan juga yang setiap masa duduk sorang-sorang.

Maybe, they are among the happiest people with the sweetest smile who suffer the most.

Some days they are happy, the other days they’re broken, shattered to pieces. Wanting nothing but death. They tried hundreds of ways to die.

But when they realized and wanted to seek for help, you humiliated them. Making them feel awful and worthless even more.

“Why do you keep hurting yourself?”

“Because I want to numb the pain I feel inside my head. It’s so painful it makes me want to jump off a building and die right away. Death seems to be the only option I have left.”

So, if next time your friend comes to you saying they have problem, listen. They won’t ask much, they just need listening ears.

Do not shoo them away, or saying that they want attention. At this time, do not even talk about dosa pahala. Just comfort them. And if you can’t comfort them, be there for them.

DIY Face mask

I love face mask. Actually, I’m CRAZY about facemask.
Be it sheet mask, clay/mud mask, peel off mask, I’ve used them all. And loving each and every bits of it.
For me, wearing face mask is the time for me to relax, rejuvenate. A cool down time if you will call it.
Here, I’m sharing with you how to make your own DIY face mask.
It’s super easy, and the ingredients are all in your kitchen. Try it, and feel the glow!!!

BERGEDIL: SEJARAH & ASAL-USUL

Bergedil merupakan makanan pembuka selera yang popular terutamanya dari masyarakat Jawa. Siapa di sini suka makan bergedil?

 

Orang Belanda kali pertama tiba di kepulauan Nusantara ialah pada 1595, pada era Republik Belanda.

Selepas menawan Melaka pada 1641, Belanda mendapat tapak kukuh untuk menjadi kuasa dunia dan kapitalis terbesar dalam sejarah, Syarikat Hindia Timur Belanda (VoC) jadi kukunya.

Kekayaan VoC serta menjadi masyarakat kapitalis merchantilis, menjadikan Belanda kuasa besar dunia pada 1600an.

Tokoh pemikir seperti Erasmus dan Jan Standonck membentuk pemikiran bangsa Belanda, menjadi sebuah masyarakat yang progresif.

Apabila Belanda tiba di Kepulauan Nusantara, mereka membawa tanaman yang mereka makan ketika berperang dengan Sepanyol; kentang.

Di Belanda ada satu makanan tradisi yang berasal dari Denmark dan Utara Jerman yang diberi nama frikadeller.

Frikadeller ini sebenarnya meatball IKEA versi penyek. Di Sweden bentuk bola, di Denmark bentuk penyek. Itu sahaja bezanya.

Satu hari, dua orang tukang masak berbangsa Jawa yang bekerja di rumah salah satu pegawai Belanda mendapat arahan dari tuannya untuk memasak frikadeller.

Tetapi daging untuk membuat frikadeller tak cukup. Yang ada cuma kentang yang begitu banyak, tak tahu nak buat apa.

“Waduh, gawat ni kok!”
“Nopo?”
“Daging sapi ora cukup?”
“Nambah kentang yo. Ngomong kita ora duwe sapi.”

Dua tukang masak ini nekad merebus kentang dan sedikit daging yang tinggal untuk membuat frikadeller.

Lidah orang Jawa tidak tahu menyebut bahasa Belanda, frikadeller menjadi perkedel. Sampai di kawasan Melayu, ia pun jadi perkataan ‘bergedil’.

Hari ini bergedil digunakan untuk menjadi penambah makanan untuk soto ayam, nasi tumpeng atau sekadar lauk untuk nasi putih.

Hari ini kita ada bergedil kentang, jagung, sardin, dan tauhu.

Malay Folk Says : ‘Pantang-larang’ that I always heard when I was kid

The word ‘pantang-larang’ literally mean forbidden or abstain from doing something. In Malay culture, the purpose of ‘pantang-larang’ is to educate the community to practice good value in life, especially for younger generations. It is also often infused with supernatural elements and past down orally from generation to generation.

1. • Girl cannot sing in the kitchen, do it and one day you’re going to marry an old man. Reason: singing in the kitchen will make you too absorbed in singing, causing you to forget all about cooking thus burning it, or food become bland because you forget some of the spices.
   • Cannot cut fingernail at night or you gonna get sickness in the future . Reason: in the old days, people use oil lamp to light their house, there there is risk that you’ll cut yourself in the dark.
   • Don’t point your finger at the rainbow, you’ll loose your fingers. Reason: actually it’s rude to point your fingers at any thing. Not just rainbow.
   • Don’t walk under the laundry line, you’ll get headache. Reason: Parent said that to avoid kids playing near the laundry, causing it to fall to the ground and/or making it dirty and have to re-wash it again.

1. • Girls cannot sit on the stairs, doing this, no one will propose to marry you. Reason: 1. Means you’re advertising yourself (stairs usually located in front of the house, facing the roadside. If girls sitting on the stairs, village folk using the road will be able to see you. Old village folk says this act (Sitting on the stairs) is embarrassing) 2. Troublesome because blocking the path (Most traditional Malay house is high and have stairs at the entrance).
   • It’s bad to whistle, snake will enter the house. Reason: whistling sound is annoying, and it distract other people.
   • While eating, kids has to stay put at one place. If you change your eating location, you will end up marrying a lot when you grow up. Reason: Kids tend to be messy when eating, this to avoid the kids from making a lot of mess.
   • Don’t throw the rice away, the rice will cry. Reason: to avoid wasting food.
   • Don’t open umbrella inside the house, snake will enter the house. reason: 1. The pointy part of the umbrella can hurt other people. 2. In the old days the house is small, you’ll knock off the furniture causing it to break.

1. • Don’t eat in the dark, it is said the devil will join you eating together. reason : to avoid fish bone stuck in your throat.
   • Don’t sit on the pillow, you’ll get boils on your bottom. Reason: it is considered inappropriate because the pillow is for your head.
   • Don’t hit or hurt any animal during pregnancy, it is feared that later your child will be born handicap. Reason: to avoid abuse on animal.

This is all I can remember. Some of the ‘pantang-larang’ are good advice, while some are simply to scare us from doing something inappropriate. The key point is, think before simply believing them.

Bye…

Sakura at night

H

ave you seen Sakura blossoms at night?
The view is so great!!

Cute Evening Dresses

Cute evening dresses.

With correct design and cutting, it’ll make you look stunning.

Here are some of my favorites.

 

 

 

 

 

Sail Away

This song from Enya always give me an uplifting mood. But I didn’t remember it as “Orinoco Flow” but call it ‘Sail Away” instead.

Hearing this song, I wish all that’s troubling you “SAIL AWAY”!!!

Bye…

Orinoco Flow

Enya

Let me sail, let me sail, let the Orinoco flow.
Let me reach, let me beach on the shores of Tripoli.
Let me sail, let me sail, let me crash upon your shore.
Let me reach, let me beach far beyond the Yellow Sea.
De de de de de…
Sailway, …

From Bissau to Palau in the shade of Avalon.
From Fiji to Tiree and the isles of Ebony.
From Peru to Cebu, feel the power of Babylon.
From Bali to Cali, far beneath the Coral Sea.
De de de de de…
Sail away…

Turn it up…Adieu, ooh.
From the North to the South, Ebudau unto Khartoum.
From the deep Sea of Clouds to the Island of the Moon.
Carry me on the waves to the lands I’ve never seen.
Carry me on the lands I’ve never seen.

We can sail, with the Orinoco flow.
Wecan sail away…
We can steer, we can near with Rob Dickins at the wheel.
We can sigh, say goodbyeRoss and his dependencies.
We can sail away (repeat and fade).

Songwriters: Eithne Ni Bhraonain / Nicky Ryan / Roma Ryan

Orinoco Flow lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC